If you derive some form of pleasure out of hurting others, there is something wrong with you. Whether your particular psychosis is a classic anti-social behavioral disorder or some form of Mental defect, organic in nature, or due to long term personal or mental abuse, you will find this fact being attested to and well defined in any accredited medical or psychology journal and is in fact a widely accepted and endorsed statement made by both the AMA and the APA.
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There’s no explanation or excuse that can justify this type of behavior, and it is NOT, I repeat, NOT the acceptable pathology of a normal, well adjusted, functioning member in our society.
These types of people are traditionally known as Bullies, and while this particular title may conjure up for you a less menacing or cartoon like image of a disheveled looking schoolboy with a slingshot in his hand as he waits and takes aim at other smaller school children exiting the school bus, I can assure you it’s far more serious.
~Columbine, comes to my mind.
To be mercilessly put in a constant heightened state of what is known in psychology as fight or flight defensiveness causes the body and psyche an insurmountable amount of stress that can manifest itself in any number and forms of physical and or mental illnesses :Depression, over-eating, fatigue, alcoholism, ulcers etc. and it’s not always the meek or introverted members of our society that fall victim to this type of maltreatment at the hands of a person or persons that I like to call High functioning disfunctionaries.
It’s you and me. Anybody can fall prey to a bully. What safeguards these types of people from punishment or admonishment in our society is that sometimes, a lot of times, they are put into positions of authority over us and are not so easily made venerable or accountable for their actions.
A case in point
I have a friend of mine that was recently let go from her job because her boss was a bully and simply did not like her.
She was subjected to a grueling schedule over a period of about six months with the blatant intent of causing her to quit. She had requested certain days off, and found herself repeatedly put on the schedule to work those particular days. If she had covered her shifts by asking another employee to work them, as was the policy set forth by this particular manager, she would be denied and made to work those shifts herself. I believe there was one instance where she was scheduled to work seven consecutive days in a row, and when she found coverage for the seventh day, she was told by this boss that her coverage of that shift was not acceptable. She pleaded with another manager that she was not physically capable to work that day, and he somehow and thankfully, was able to accommodate her.
She was repeatedly subjected to a menacing attitude and hostile work environment by her superior and when circumstances arouse that she was without transportation to her job, and therefore had to make other arrangements to get to work on a day that she was not normally scheduled, she was fired.
When she was told, (late Sunday night), that she would be working the following Monday morning, after it was widely known that her one form of transportation was in the shop for repair, She immediately called the manager on duty and told him that she could only secure a ride to work two hours after her scheduled shift. He assured her that it was alright and that she could come in at that time on Monday.
His boss, proceeded to call her the following day and tell her that she knew nothing about this arrangement and that she was, “Shiite to her”. When my friend tried to defend her actions and thus save her only source of income, by reiterating that her immediate supervisor had cleared it and that she was assured it was ok for her to come in at that time, This boss, who all along had every intention of “getting rid of her”, did just that, by goading her into a fight or flight mode causing her to be in a heightened state of stress and defense, her voice raised to the same level as that of her foul mouthed bully of a boss and was put into a position of entrapment.
She and her boyfriend are currently without a source of income, and as far as I know, she is still not able to collect unemployment benefits after being out of work for almost a month and a half now. Both of them have recently been hospitalized and being without health insurance are further financially burdened.
I don’t think there is anyone of sane mind that could say this Boss’s actions were in any way justifiable. There was no reason to terminate this employee. If anything, my friend’s immediate supervisor should have been reprehended for micromanaging behind his boss’s back without clear authority to do so.
Instead he chose to endorse his boss’s actions by further abusing my friend and telling her that she was terminated for using harsh language while defending herself.
A bully always has a stoolie ;)
Abuse exists and continues to thrive in the workplace especially, because a. we do not talk to one another and b. we do our level best to grin and bear it because it is our means of livelihood, but in no way shape or form does it mean that we accept it.
I spoke with my friend a few times after this incident and found myself in tears after she told me she had been sleeping most of her days away and was barely functioning.
Is there anyone out there that could justify this boss’s actions, or say that what she did, and the way that she went about doing it was righteous in any way?
Is there anyone that would not call this person a bully?
It is not an acceptable or professional practice of purposefully putting people out of work in this economy, and again it is not the actions of a normal well adjusted functioning person in our society.
We must be able to reprimand reprehensible behavior like this, and hold it up against a standard of what we do consider “normal and acceptable behavior” in order to rectify what would be considered reprehensible in any other area of our civilized society. Just because this person is your boss, and you are held and bound to a subordinate position, does not mean that you are obligated to accept this type of abuse under the guise of acting like a professional.
“Professionalism” in that sense, then becomes another “ism” and can be expressly used by the abuser as a sort of vice to hold you in place as they take aim with their proverbial slingshot.